Shadow of the Moon
by lolafalana
Summary: Eclipse in Edward's POV. I wanted to sigh at her hostility; it was so…adorable, like a tiny puppy barking in a high-pitched tone. Comical and entirely unthreatening. "What was that?" she scowled and once again I took in her grimace with light humor.
1. Back to Normal, Sort of

**Shadow of the Moon**

1. Back to Normal…Sort of

Jacob Black. He was the cause for my accumulation of oppression this evening.

"…not fair." Bella mumbled in her sleep while knotting herself into the comforter. Her face was creased with vexation while a frown eclipsed her features.

At this present moment I loathed him. And for more than one reason. First, he was the one provoking all her frustration and anguish. Second, he was a werewolf, a _new_ werewolf, who protected her from Victoria. The one I tracked and tailed for nearly half a year while she was devising her own plan to come back to Forks (which I had no knowledge of). Third, the wolf pack annihilated Laurent, who I previously had in my possession yet let him go in my desperation to eliminate Victoria. Both in my grasp, and both times it was _him_ who kept Bella from harm. Fourth, Bella cherished him tremendously and had expressed it in little bursts of fury when he refused to return her phone calls or letters. And fifth, he was _dangerous_.

Charlie, though he thoroughly despised me and sometimes it was down right painful to be around him when he was thinking about what I did to Bella, was secretly on my side. By keeping Bella locked up, in other words, grounded, he was keeping her away from the one I loathed.

"…answer the phone…" Bella tossed again, her lips pursed in anger.

It was hard to hear her talk about him in her sleep. Those times when it was my name she mumbled was now tainted by his presence. It was entirely my fault, so of course Bella didn't know how I struggled with her new found friendship with my only enemy.

Her hand reached out and clutched at the air before she brought her fist back to her chest. She frowned. Instantly her eyes opened, blinking several times as she focused on my still form in the corner of her room. She beckoned me forward. I didn't hesitate as I seized her into my firm grip. She smiled before her eyes closed again, her heart pounding evenly in her chest.

The sun broke over the horizon long before I was ready for it to. The purple tinged grey clouds began lighting as the sun rose behind them. The echoing sound of Charlie pounding on his alarm clock and muttering incoherently about fish had reminded me it was time to disappear.

When I reached the edge of the window I looked back at Bella's sleeping form. Her silhouette was rising and falling with each breath. Her long tangles of black hair was scattered across her pillow, the soft pink color of her skin gave her the right touch of color and her lips were perfectly parted as her breath filled the room with the most glorious aroma I had ever had the pleasure of breathing in.

I disembarked from her room; the flowing step I took out her window was  
effortless, like the ground came to my feet and not the other way around. My eyes roamed the dark quiet street in my view as the silent town still slept peacefully. Picking up this habit again was natural, like I'd never left in the first place. My chest no longer burned violently; licking at the charred remains of what was. Instead, it was suffused  
with an inconceivable fervor, my heart squarely there in my chest, full of a deep devoutness of her godlike perfection.

Soon, I was darting through the low tangles of vast vegetation in the extensive growing forest. The brambles of green whipped behind me in my wake, the animals scurrying out of the way as if I were a lion searching for my prey.

It was distressing to leave her; much more difficult than it should be. The few weeks that followed my return to the Olympic Peninsula were healing; though the lacerations threatened to rip wide open when she gazed at me with her unfathomable eyes every time I had to leave. It was like the depth of her sadness returned whenever I left, like a black hole was sucking the benevolence from her very soul.

It was only a matter of minutes before the road before me was the drive that led to our house in the deep woods of the north. Just like always, Alice was waiting on the top stair, her face crinkled in a smile, her teeth gleaming.

…_Jacob again?_

"How…" I didn't finish my question.

It was effortless to see the memory of her previous divination. It was odd to see the profound frown that was etched into my face as I watched myself listening to Bella's spoken thoughts.

Alice followed me to my room on the third floor.

"She loves you, you know." Alice shrugged lightly as I turned to look at her once we reached the landing. _We all love you. _

"I know." I said suspiciously. None of my family talked like that to me anymore, not after my return to Forks, and ultimately to Bella. "Are you trying to butter me up for something?" My eyebrow rose.

_Not at all. _The truth was deeply hidden in her small white lie as she began to count the blades of grass out the window.

"Will you just tell me?" I sighed, pulling my clothes out of the closet.

…_not going to like this. _She grabbed a baseball from my dresser. _Of all the things he could have asked for…_ She was juggling the baseball along with her cell phone now.

"Enough with the cryptic thoughts please."

She placed the ball back. "Okay," she pursed her lips while hanging my clothes back up and choosing something different from the vast ocean of fabric. "Charlie is going to ease up a bit."

"Crap," I muttered. This could only mean one thing…

_You're going to have to tell her eventually._ Alice flopped down on my bed, holding out a white shirt._ The werewolves are dangerous. The fact I can't see her when she is with them makes me very nervous. _

I nodded in agreement. Our estrangement during the time I was away had not broken the bond I had with my littlest sister. The silent conversations were just as easy as before.

_It gets worse. _She brought her legs onto the bed, crossing them. _Charlie is going to be more lenient, but there are…conditions. _

My hand automatically met my forehead as I shook my head in horror at what those possible _conditions_ might be.

"Conditions?"

_Yes, one of which will include spending time with Jaco…_

Alice's thought was cut off as I threwmy belt across the room. Her hand flicked up and caught it right before it made a deep dent in the wall.

…_Esme…_ Alice gave me a disapproving look.

"And what will Bella have to say about these…_conditions_?" I glared unseeing out the window.

_Oh. …well…_

"Just spit it out, Alice. Please."

_Okay. "Jacob might be . . . difficult."_ Her mental voice sounding identical to Bella's.

"Well, that's not so bad. She didn't say yes…"

_I wasn't finished, _Alice interjected into my spoken words. My stomach clenched tightly as I waited to hear the dreadful words I feared the most, "_I love Jacob._"

_"I miss him a lot." … but there's more! _Alice thought quickly before I punched my hand through the glass. She saw it coming. _Bella will also tell Charlie that there is "no competition" between the two of you. She choose you. Remember that._

"Great," I muttered.

_Don't worry._ She prompted apologetically._ You'll see her at school and tonight. _Alice watched my expression, her useful and annoying gift of foresight working for a solid future. _Would you make up your mind all ready?_

I shook my head. She sighed.

Sitting in the cafeteria at lunch was like being on a different planet. There were no supernatural creatures or mythical werewolves and no more 'Cullen' table here. The thoughts did not surround the glory of our relationship like it once did. Now the thoughts surrounding Bella were fiercer than ever, though this time they were attacking me and not her. Each one of her friends glared at me in turn for a whole week after my homecoming. Disbelief still colored some of their feelings when they saw Bella, day after day, her hand intertwined with my own like the past eight months never happened.

It was not complex trying to recognize where their thoughts were coming from because I speculated over the same things. Sometimes it was dispiriting to witness the imagery of her face before her heroic rescue in Italy. But the atrocious of all the thoughts were about the new male in her life. Jessica habitually compared Bella's face after my departure to Bella's face after Jacob Black's arrival into her life. Was this…Jacob Black going to take her away from me? Her cheeks _had_ become less sunken after spending several weeks with the mongrel. At least that is what Jessica remembered in her mind, though she was mentally subnormal.

It was hard to keep a straight face all through school. Bella never noticed my internal divergence, though Alice had to kick me a few times under the table at lunch.

_Pull yourself together, Edward. _

I smiled halfheartedly. Bella's answering smile was dazzling. The warming sensation rushed through my body as she brushed her arm against mine; her hand finding my palm under the table. Alice grinned at us and Bella's answering blush was a brilliant pink.

Her scent, the most delicious fragrance imaginable, was no longer the cause of my internal torment. The normal dry ache was nothing short of painless now. It was only all too easy to just swallow the venom that pooled in my mouth and bring her aroma into my lungs deeper, expanding my lungs wider than ever. The memory of when I thought she was no longer amid the living and abruptly she was there - flying towards me through the crowd of pedestrians - I realized that my body and the extraordinary essence of my psyche would perpetually reject to ever undergoing that kind of hell again.

Victoria, who had failed to be seen for weeks now, was still searching for a way between the Quileute wolves and my family of seven vampires. That would be adequate enough to keep a sadistic vampire like her abroad, for now. It was inevitable that she would show up again. Hatred coursed through me like poison.

There were other elements, besides the threat of Victoria's return that my family was worried about. There had been numerous vicious slayings in Seattle, bringing the total to four. My family had been suspiciously scrutinizing the news. The patterns were all there, the negligent body drops, the jarring disappearances with no evidence to be found and they were all at night. There was a newborn vampire lose on the streets of Seattle.

The day flew by, and too soon I was escorting Bella to her truck. The rest of the afternoon would be spent trying to keep Emmett appeased with my non-social attitude and trying to keep Alice from restocking my closet, not the two most engaging of tasks.

The ride home was uneventful as Alice flipped through the music on the CD player, singing with the flowing melody. She was continually picturing the shopping trips that Bella and her would go on now that she was freed from her perpetual prison (even though Bella didn't know it yet).

_The boys are planning a football game. _Alice thought randomly before turning to me. _You know, I really do miss that Porsche._ Her fingers rubbed along the dash of the Volvo. _This car just doesn't have the class of that beauty, _she did a small drum beat along with the music on the dashboard. _Oh! _She gasped.

"What is it, Alice?"

Her eyes were staring forward, absent of any life. _ Bella got into Alaska University. _

"Really?" I grinned widely.

_Looks like. _

I swelled with pride. This was her first college acceptance, though Alice had informed me that she would receive others during the summer.

"So…has Bella said yes, yet?" Alice asked conversationally.

I sighed. "Why do you keep asking me?" I was irritated by her reminder that Bella had denied me when I asked for her hand in marriage. "You'd probably know before I would." I continued.

_Well…maybe if you brought it up again…_she trailed off in thought. The image of flowers and white bridal dressed danced through her head.

"I'm not going to annoy her to death until she says yes." I said through clenched teeth.

_Nice choice of words. _She smirked at me, but dropped the subject.

We pulled into the garage. Rosalie's head was stuck under the hood of Emmett's Jeep while Emmett flashed between Rosalie and the tool box.

"Hey, Edward!" Emmett bellowed. "Jasper and I were thinking about going hunting this weekend. You're invited if you aren't up to anything else," he winked at me. _Besides doing whatever it is you do every night in Bella's bedroom. _

"We'll see," I ignored his sex jibe. Emmett just couldn't help but make fun of the lack of physical contact between Bella and me.

Inside the house Esme was sitting with her head on her fist staring unblinkingly at the news caster on the TV screen.

…_another death. That's five now. _She looked up when she saw us enter the living room. "Edward, Alice. How was school?"

Alice immediately sat down and started chatting animatedly about her day. I could hear Carlisle in his office. It was odd he was home at this hour. Leaving the two of them on the couch, I flitted up the stairs.

_Come in. _Carlisle called from his mind. He never failed to know when I wanted to talk to him about something. His office was the same as always; rows of books, some as old as he was, others fairly new and many of them medical. He was sitting in the big brown leather chair behind his desk. He stood when he saw me.

_How are you doing today?_

I ignored his thoughts. "I think we need to go to Seattle."

He sighed. _I thought you might say that. _He shut the book that was in front of him. _It's not our place to get involved. This has nothing to do with us. _

"But it does," I said, exasperated. "There have been five deaths now. It is obvious that whoever the creator is has either set them lose to feed or cannot control him."

_Edward, _Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder. _The murders are horrific, but it is still not our place to get involved. _He gestured for me to sit down. _If the Volturi –_

"That is exactly why we should get involved," I threw my hands up in agitation. "If the Volturi come to Seattle, what will stop them from journeying here to check on Bella?"

_Alice will tell us if they decide to come here. _He frowned. _If we have to turn Bella before her graduation to save her life, we will, _he offered.

"So that's it? We are going to sit back and do nothing?" I shouted, swelling with inexpressible anger. "Wait – no – our plan is to turn Bella into a vampire!"

_I promised to transform her into a vampire._ He reminded me._ This is something she clearly wants. _He turned away from me, looking out the window at the smooth black glassy surface of the river. _If she didn't beg to be a part of this existence I wouldn't do it. But she has wanted this from the beginning. _He turned back to me, looking extremely tense. _I know it's hard on you. _

"Her soul…" I mumbled weakly. "It's the best part about her. If she lost it -"

Carlisle cut in. _She doesn't believe that._ I_ don't believe that. _I couldn't believe my ears. He sat back down in his leather chair. _Let me ask you a question. _His eyes were level with mine now, the gold depths searching mine for an answer to a question he hasn't asked yet. _When she's changed, are you going to think of her as soulless? Do you think that the Bella you know will forever be lost and will be replaced by a soulless being? _

I stiffened. To think of it like that, it was hard to imagine that anything would be able to take away her soul.

"No," I whispered.

_Just remember, if she stays human she will die one day. _He patted my hand. _And remember what happened last time you thought she had died. _

I flinched at the memory of our time in Volterra, the lacerations threatening to tear open again. "That's what is supposed to happen."

_It's different with her. She has you. This is her choice, and I don't blame her for choosing it. _Carlisle smiled serenely at me. _She wants to spend forever with you, in the literal sense of the word. Most people and vampires would cut off their right leg to have what you two have. _

I smiled a little at his thoughts. "Thanks…now back to the subject. We need to find out what is going on in Seattle, and fix it."

_It's too early to decide on anything. We'll keep an eye on the news like we have been. If anything drastic happens we might need to step in. But for now, we must let it be. _

It was obvious he wasn't going to budge on this subject. He bade me goodbye as I left his office.

It was twilight again, though this would not be the end. Bella _would_ become a vampire; the horrible truth sunk like a stone. The image pained me, but at the same time was something that sent shivers of satisfaction through me. The soap bubble…finally becomes impermeable. I was grateful that our future no longer hung in the unknown, but in the pit of my stomach a feeling of uneasiness ate at me.

I pulled my car into Charlie's driveway, my headlights flooding the house, though the lights did not interrupt their conversation. It was not about Jacob Black, though there were several hours of missed conversation time.

"_We should talk about tuition. I've got some money saved up -"_ Charlie began.

"_Hey, hey, none of that." _Bella interjected. _"I'm not touching your retirement, Dad. I've got my college fund." _

"_Some of these places are pretty pricey, Bells. I want to help. You don't have to go to all the way to Alaska just because it's cheaper_."

Alaska…well, it wasn't the college I was hoping she would pick, though I knew her reasons behind it. During her earlier years as a vampire she would have to be in the isolation of the north. Alaska was where we had planned to go.

Rain drops splatter noisily across my windshield, breaking me of the images of time alone with a more impervious Bella in the extensive forests of the north.

In the passenger seat were several college applications in a manila envelope. The one on the top was Dartmouth. If she was accepted into a prestigious school like Dartmouth then maybe she wouldn't mind waiting a little longer before her transformation process. It was difficult to imagine why she would ever want to be forever encaged in her thirst. I'd asked her before.

"_So I can spend forever with you_," she explained one evening.

Charlie pulled me from my reverie when I heard my name. …"_Just_ _wondering what . . . Edward's plans are for next year_?"

_Maybe he'll go far, far away, like Africa, _Charlie mused in his clouded mind.

In a fluid movement I was out of my car and only inches from the door.

"_Well_?" he persisted when Bella only answered with '_oh_'.

I was tired of being on the other end of the door. All I wanted was to be on the other side. My successive knocks on the door saved Bella from Charlie's insistent stare.

The swift footsteps approaching the door were obviously Bella's.

"Coming!" Bella announced.

"Go away," Charlie mumbled under his breath.

Bella had jerked the door from between us, her intense stare met with my own feelings of fervent longing. Relief spread across her face and seeped through my skin. My lips twitched up automatically into a smile as her breath caught in her throat. Her answering smiled made my heart turn over.

She reached out, her hand warm and inviting to my own. Our hands intertwined, the heat of her skin warming mine I felt the heat spread like wildfire to the tips of my fingers and toes. The hours felt like days, and the relief of our braided fingers felt like she was sharing her soul with me. The soul that Carlisle tried to convince me would still be there, even after she was a vampire.

"Hey," her voice was low and a smile was playing on her lips.

Refusing to let go, I raised our hands, the back of mine brushing lightly on her soft skin. I was in heaven, all other thoughts forgotten for a time.

_Go home. _Charlie thought irritably.

"How was your afternoon?" I questioned, ignoring the steady current of uncomfortable insults radiating out of Charlie.

"Slow."

"For me, as well."

It was hard not to relish in the fact that I was here with Bella. Each day I made every effort to remind myself of what I had once left behind. I brought her wrist to my nose, delighting in the fragrance. My nose had lightly moved across the delicate skin there as I closed my eyes to help concentrate the scent. My smile was involuntary.

_Enough all ready. _Charlie's advancing steps were deliberately heavy against the wood floor.

My eyes opened as I let our hands fall between us, our fingers still twined together.

"Good evening, Charlie." I said politely. He did have every right to hate me and wish me to the deepest pits of hell for what I did to his only daughter.

He grunted. _What's tonight's plan? _Charlie crossed his arms; his thoughts were more decipherable than usual. _I refuse to watch my daughter making out with him. _He continued to stare between us, obvious belligerence in his stance.

"I brought another set of applications," I answered his internal question, holding up the manila envelope from the car, a roll of stamps on my littlest finger.

_Well…_ Charlie contemplated. _…I guess that's not so bad. _

Bella groaned. It was obvious what she was thinking. Just because it was this late in the semester, though, didn't mean that she couldn't at least apply for some more colleges. Alaska had accepted her and that was enough for her, but not for me. She always made it difficult to give her things, or to offer her opportunities. I smiled at her sour expression.

"There are still a few open deadlines. And a few places willing to make exceptions." I explained.

She frowned. Her brows creased in annoyance while her look became skeptical. The look was quite comical. I laughed. If only I _could_ read her mind.

"Shall we?" I asked, hauling her toward the kitchen table.

Charlie huffed. _Why does he have to stay here while she fills out the applications?_ He followed after us.

Bella seized the dishes on the table, shoving them in the sink while I pulled the forms out of the envelope and placed them neatly on the table, Dartmouth on top. There was a book on the table, clearly torn, the edges worn and faded from being read several times. Bella quickly grabbed _Wuthering Heights_ from the table and placed it on the counter. I raised an eyebrow at her. She had _only _read that book a hundred times. I didn't see the interest, really.

"Speaking of college applications, Edward," Charlie spoke, his irritation breaking through his speech. "Bella and I were just talking about next year. Have you decided where you're going to school?"

It was rare for him to address me, so I took this opportunity to be courteous and smile. "Not yet. I've received a few acceptance letters, but I'm still weighing my options."

"Where have you been accepted?" Charlie pressed. _Don't say Alaska…don't say Alaska, _he chanted in his head. This made me smile wider.

"Syracuse . . . Harvard . . . Dartmouth . . ." I began listing.

_Yes! Not Alaska!_ …_wait …Harvard?_

"…and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today." I turned to wink at Bella whose lips grew into a tight line like she was suppressing laughter. It was amazing how easily she accepted that she had a boyfriend who could read minds and a friend who could see visions of the future. She was truly amazing.

"Harvard? Dartmouth?" Charlie garbled, unable to mask his admiration. "Well that's pretty . . ." his speech was inarticulate. _Those aren't in Alaska… "_That's something. Yeah, but the University of Alaska . . . you wouldn't really consider that when you could go Ivy League. I mean, your father would want you to . . ."

"Carlisle's always fine with whatever I choose to do," I answered placidly.

"Hmph." _He wouldn't…not Alaska. _

"Guess what, Edward?" Bella chimed in.

"What, Bella?"

She pointed to the thick envelope on the counter. "I just got _my _acceptance to the University of Alaska!"

"Congratulations!" I grinned. "What a coincidence."

Charlie's eyes narrowed and he scowled back and forth between the two of us. _They're playing me. He knew…he must have. _His eyes grew into the tiniest of slits. "Fine," he muttered after a minute. "I'm going to go watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty."

"Er, Dad? Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom . . . ?"

So they did have the conversation that Alice predicted.

He sighed. "Right. Okay, _ten _-thirty. You still have a curfew on school nights."

"Bella's no longer grounded?" I asked. Bella's eyes lit up just a little bit at the excitement in my voice.

"Conditionally," Charlie rectified through his teeth. "What's it to you?"

There was that word again: _conditionally_.

"It's just good to know," I justified. "Alice has been itching for a shopping partner, and I'm sure Bella would love to see some city lights." I grinned down at Bell.

"No!" Charlie growled. _Not Seattle. …too dangerous._

"Dad! What's the problem?" Bella started at him, abashed.

…_dangerous_, he repeated in his mind. "I don't want you going to Seattle right now." His jaw was tight.

"Huh?"

"I told you about that story in the paper - there's some kind of gang on a killing spree in Seattle and I want you to steer clear, okay?" Charlie ordered while staring daggers at me.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Dad, there's a better chance that I'll get struck by lightning than that the one day I'm in Seattle -"

"No, that's fine, Charlie," I interrupted her. Knowing her luck, the newborn would find her in the city. "I didn't mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland, actually. I wouldn't have Bella in Seattle, either. Of course not." I agreed wholeheartedly.

The newspaper from today was sitting on the table and I seized it and began reading the article on the front page, _Death Toll on the Rise. Police Fear Gang Activity_.

I read through the article quickly, the details of the earlier murders were now outlined perfectly in today's article. There was no doubt, it was definitely a vampire.

"Fine." Charlie grunted while turning around and stalking off towards the TV. His works only interrupted my reading for a second as I stared back down at the black and white picture showing police tape around a dumpster.

"What -," Bella started to ask. I had finished reading, but Charlie was now listening into our conversation. The ballgame hadn't started yet and he used the few minutes before tipoff to eavesdrop.

"Hold on," I cut her off, sliding the Dartmouth application towards her. "I think you can recycle your essays for this one. Same questions."

She sighed, picked up her pen and began filling out the form.

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**Author's Note**: _Hi loyal followers and new fans. This is the first chapter of the third installment of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer from Edward's point of view. For those of you who have not read my stories before, Midnight Sun Continuation is finished and New Moon from EPOV is on chapter 18!_

_I hope that this story won't disappoint you. I worked very hard on writing this first chapter and I hope that you will add me to your alert list so you will know when I update again. Thanks for reading._

_

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**Please Review!**

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Lolafalana is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of Eclipse. No copyright infringement is intended

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	2. So Stubborn

2. So Stubborn

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As I was watching Bella thoughtfully, her hair tumbled over her face while she bent over the table, filling out a college application for Dartmouth. It pleased me that she wasn't complaining about the college I picked. Over the past two weeks, trying to get her to fill out more applications – particularly to Ivy League schools – was like pulling teeth.

The sound of rain drops as hard as hail were hammering on the roof. I stared out the window at the rippling grey sheets of water that were slowly descending the glass. I was thinking about going away to college with Bella and having all of that time alone with her. Several different scenarios played out in my mind. The comfortable silence was suddenly interrupted when she snorted derisively and shoved the college application my direction while folding her arms.

"Bella?" I queried.

"Be serious, Edward. _Dartmouth _?" her voice was skeptical at the prospect.

With exaggerated patience I placed the application in front of her again. "I think you'd like New Hampshire." Again, I thought about time alone – truly alone – with her. "There's a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife." I smiled at the thought of our life their together.

She shot me a look of deepest disgust.

"I'll let you pay me back, if that makes you happy," I suffused pointedly, though I'd never seriously take her money. "If you want, I can charge you interest." I threw her a quick smile.

She glared at me with an uncharacteristic grim look on her face. "Like I could even get in without some enormous bribe." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "Or was that part of the loan? The new Cullen wing of the library?" The expression on her kind face was fierce. "Ugh. Why are we having this discussion again?"

"Will you just fill out the application, please, Bella? It won't hurt you to apply." I asked in a heartened tone. There were no bribes, really. She was just _too_ intelligent to notice her own brilliance.

Her jaw was set. "You know what? I don't think I will." Always so stubborn.

She reached for the papers with an expression of enormous smugness on her face. By the time she started unfolding her arms, I seized the papers and placed them in the envelope. She eyed the table like she was bidden to memorize it for a time and then peered up at me.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"I sign your name better than you do yourself. You've already written the essays," my voice supercilious. I was just going to have to prove to her just how gifted she really was.

"You're going way overboard with this, you know," she said shiftily. "I really don't need to apply anywhere else. I've been accepted in Alaska. I can almost afford the first semester's tuition. It's as good an alibi as any. There's no need to throw away a bunch of money, no matter whose it is," she added defiantly.

My heart sank like a stone. "Bella -"

"Don't start," she cut across. "I agree that I need to go through the motions for Charlie's sake, but we both know I'm not going to be in any condition to go to school next fall. To be anywhere near people."

"I thought the timing was still undecided." There was a note of real desperation in my voice I was hoping she wouldn't hear. "You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences you've never had." I was determined to stay calm, though this subject usually brought up all my worst fears and anxieties.

"I'll get to those afterward."

"They won't be _human _experiences afterward. You don't get a second chance at humanity, Bella," I said quickly in my desperation to try to make her understand.

She sighed and her face finally softened. "You've got to be reasonable about the timing, Edward. It's just too dangerous to mess around with," she explained in a strong and confident voice.

"There's no danger yet," I insisted. _Yet_, I thought angrily, because it was only a matter of time before danger came to her doorstep. This time though – this time – I'll be here to protect her.

Bella glared at me in disbelief. Her face was suddenly tense and alarmed. I surveyed her as each of her expressions changed rapidly. It was almost like I could see her brain working in a mime like way. She was angry for a time, before her face shifted to thoughtful, to a little sick, and then she frowned… _deeply_.

It was the loudest silence I had ever heard. I could only imagine what she was thinking about. The Volturi, for one, and then Victoria. Rage boiled within me at the thought of Victoria. The burning, fiery power for justice never fled my mind after my pathetic attempt at tracking her through America. There was only one thing that could bring me to forget all about my troubles with her, and that was Bella. Her face had contorted into complete distress.

"Bella," I said soothingly. "There's no hurry. I won't let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need."

"I want to hurry," she whispered, an unconvincing smile breaking across her face. "I want to be a monster, too."

"You have no idea what you're saying," I said with sudden venom in my voice. My teeth had locked down tighter than Fort Knox and my fists were clenched tight enough to crush steel. It was so hard to believe that my Bella – my precious, sweet Bella – could ever want this life; to be responsible for murders of innocent people like those damn neophytes in Seattle.

Then a thought came to me at once. Maybe – just maybe – she might give herself more time to enjoy the amenities of being human if she could just comprehend the consequences of being a _monster_. Hastily, I catapulted the soggy newspaper onto the table in between us. In my rage I plunged my finger to point at the headline on the front page: _Death Toll on the Rise, Police Fear Gang Activity_.

Her brow rose. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Monsters are not a joke, Bella." Rage was slowly boiling in my voice.

I watched her struggle to comprehend what I was saying. She looked at the paper for several seconds before staring back up at me. "A . . . a _vampire _is doing this?" she whispered, looking alarmed at the thought.

Shooting her a mocking smile, I spoke in a crisp and clear voice. "You'd be surprised, Bella, at how often my kind are the source behind the horrors in your human news. It's easy to recognize, when you know what to look for. The information here indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle. Bloodthirsty, wild, out of control. The way we all were."

She gaped at me for a second before her eyes shifted down to the paper in front of her.

"We've been monitoring the situation for a few weeks. All the signs are there - the unlikely disappearances, always in the night, the poorly disposed-of corpses, the lack of other evidence. . . . Yes, someone brand-new. And no one seems to be taking responsibility for the neophyte. . . ." I remembered my conversation with Carlisle from earlier and sighed heavily. "Well, it's not our problem. We wouldn't even pay attention to the situation if wasn't going on so close to home. Like I said, this happens all the time. The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences."

She still hadn't lifted her eyes to mine yet. She continued to stare at the page before her like a gambler contemplating his bids.

"It won't be the same for me," an anguished whisper escaped her lips. "You won't let me be like that. We'll live in Antarctica."

That was not what I was expecting to come out of her mouth. I snorted, and like that the tension finally left the conversation.

"Penguins. Lovely." I said in mockingly sweet tone.

A shuddering breath came through her lips as a tiny laugh.

"Alaska, then, as planned. Only somewhere much more remote than Juneau - somewhere with grizzlies galore," she said with supreme indifference.

"Better," I allowed. "There are polar bears, too. Very fierce. And the wolves get quite large," I contemplated the hunting possibilities.

Suddenly her mouth fell open and her breath blew out in a sharp gust.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

There was an expression of great distaste on her face. Then, comprehension dawned on me. This was about the Quileute's and their pack of wolves– particularly Jacob Black – which she loved. My previous rage flooded back into me. But this was a new fury. Of course, of all the people she could have taken comfort in when I was gone, it was someone just as dangerous as us, if not more so.

"Oh." I said quietly, making sure my face was controlled and unemotional. "Never mind the wolves, then, if the idea is offensive to you," I replied in a credible imitation of politeness, trying not to make her angry either. It was a hard line to walk when the one person you loved – loved the one person you loathed.

Regardless of my attempt at self control, she easily saw through my pretenses.

"He was my best friend, Edward," she mumbled sadly. "Of course the idea offends me."

"Please forgive my thoughtlessness," I said stiffly – even though I would have pounded Fido into a pulp if it wasn't for the fact I'd hurt Bella in the process. "I shouldn't have suggested that."

"Don't worry about it," her voice throbbed with emotion. She stared at her fisted hands that were locked together.

We were silent then, and it became so pronounced it was like a barrier between us. I closed my eyes for a second, praying for patience to some unknown god. The scars in my chest began to pulse like an open wound. All I ever did was cause her pain and bring sadness into her world. The barrier was becoming too much and it was time to break it.

With the gentlest of touches, reminding myself of how fragile she was, I drew up her chin tenderly with my finger so I could see her penetrating gaze again.

"Sorry. Really." I said with a twinge of guilt for making her feeling anything besides bliss.

"I know," she frowned. "I know it's not the same thing. I shouldn't have reacted that way. It's just that . . . well, I was already thinking about Jacob before you came over."

Panic started to rise within me.

"Charlie says Jake is having a hard time. He's hurting right now, and . . . it's my fault."

It was so difficult. I mean really, really difficult to hear her talk about him like this. The thought of her caring for another felt like liquid fire was burning through my veins.

"You've done nothing wrong, Bella," I stated as a deterrent.

She took a steadying breath and her expression changed to persuasion. "I need to make it better, Edward. I owe him that. And it's one of Charlie's conditions, anyway -"

I stiffened at her words, swallowing back my venom before I spoke. "You know it's out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected, Bella. And it would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want us to start a war?"

"Of course not!" she said with a start of surprise.

It didn't matter. There would be no war because I refused to put Bella in anymore danger. And the wolves, they were definitely dangerous. "Then there's really no point in discussing the matter further." I removed my finger from her warm skin and looked around for another direction for this conversation. Over her shoulder I saw the book she removed from the table earlier - with its tethered cover and worn out pages - I eyed it with a smirk.

"I'm glad Charlie has decided to let you out - you're sadly in need of a visit to the bookstore. I can't believe you're reading _Wuthering Heights _again. Don't you know it by heart yet?"

"Not all of us have photographic memories," she said crisply.

I don't even know why she would want to memorize it in the first place. It was yet another little quirk about her that was a mystery. Then I realized that the change of topic worked.

"Photographic memory or not," I grinned more broadly now, "I don't understand why you like it. The characters are ghastly people who ruin each others' lives. I don't know how Heathcliff and Cathy ended up being ranked with couples like Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. It isn't a love story, it's a hate story."

She looked over her shoulder at the worn out bindings of the book before turning back to me. "You have some serious issues with the classics," she barked.

"Perhaps it's because I'm not impressed by antiquity." My smile was effortless now that we were talking about something besides the pooch. "Honestly, though, why _do _you read it over and over?" I asked, in a would be casual voice. Though, I really was interested to understand why she enjoyed the preposterous story so much. Maybe I could solve this mystery once and for all. I reached over the table to cradle her face between my palms. They began to warm instantly as I stared into the depths of her eyes. "What is it that appeals to you?" I asked curiously.

She blinked in surprise. "I'm not sure," she whispered. "I think it's something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart - not her selfishness, or his evil, or even death, in the end. . . ."

This was our reasons for being here – now – together. No matter how hard I tried to stay away from her, my selfishness won out, even the evil in me didn't keep her at bay. Even when I thought she was no longer living…I refused for it to be the end for us. We saved each other. But, in context, we were nothing like the couple in this story.

I shot her a smirk. "I still think it would be a better story if either of them had one redeeming quality," I insisted, still trying to understand her ambiguity.

"I think that may be the point," she said pointedly. "Their love _is _their only redeeming quality."

"I hope you have better sense than that - to fall in love with someone so . . . malignant." I baited for a clue.

"It's a bit late for me to worry about who I fall in love with," she gave me a warm smile. "But even without the warning, I seem to have managed fairly well."

I laughed at the absurdity. "I'm glad _you _think so."

"Well, I hope you're smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish. Catherine is really the source of all the trouble, not Heathcliff."

I was with her, the most selfless person on the planet. There would never be another. "I'll be on my guard," I teased.

She sighed heavily and her eyes grew wary. What was going through that mind of hers now… Her warm hand came up and held mine in place against her pink cheek. "I need to see Jacob."

It was hard to focus when her eyes bore into mine with deep sincerity so I closed mine in concentration. My fatalistic inability to say no to her seemed to have no hold on me right now.

"No," I stated simply. Frustration and bitter disappointment at her need to see the mongrel welled up inside me.

"It's truly not dangerous at all," she said with a plea in her voice. "I used to spend all day in La Push with the whole lot of them, and nothing ever happened."

In that instance, her voice constricted with emotion and her heart leapt and began racing. It was only too easy to tell that she had just lied to me. I never really asked what happened during those months I was gone, and she never really seemed to want to divulge any of it either. It was hard not to think about all the reckless and downright dangerous _things_ that she was doing with those reeking dogs.

"Werewolves are unstable. Sometimes, the people near them get hurt. Sometimes, they get killed."

She was silent for several moments, deep in thought. It killed me not to know what she was seeing in her head, for the only thing I could think of right now was whatever incident might have happened while I was away. Whatever it was, she didn't know how lucky she was to have never of been hurt, because I would have avenged her.

"You don't know them," she whispered.

She was wrong about that. I had known them before. Maybe not the same wolves, but I knew how badly one could get hurt around a wolf. There was a girl killed those seventy years ago and speculation all pointed to a vicious animal attack. It was never certain if it was one of the wolves, but I'd almost put money on it. This wasn't something I'd tell Bella, though. Not when I wasn't one-hundred percent certain about it.

"I know them better than you think, Bella. I was here the last time," I reminded her.

"The last time?"

I had forgotten I never told her the story of meeting the wolves. Sure, she knew about it from the legends she heard in La Push last year, but never from me. It was time to tell her.

"We started crossing paths with the wolves about seventy years ago. . . . We had just settled near Hoquiam. That was before Alice and Jasper were with us. We outnumbered them, but that wouldn't have stopped it from turning into a fight if not for Carlisle. He managed to convince Ephraim Black that coexisting was possible, and eventually we made the truce." Her eyes grew wide at the name 'Black'. "We thought the line had died out with Ephraim," I muttered. "That the genetic quirk which allowed the transmutation had been lost. . . ."I broke off and stared at her accusingly. "Your bad luck seems to get more potent every day. Do you realize that your insatiable pull for all things deadly was strong enough to recover a pack of mutant canines from extinction? If we could bottle your luck, we'd have a weapon of mass destruction on our hands."

I imagined all the things that she had encountered since she met me: the Volturi in their vast city with all their guards, James and his torturous ballet, the thick oily smoke billowing from the pile of his body parts, Laurent and his thirsty attempt to steal her life away, Victoria and her continuous dancing between treaty lines to get to Bella, and now, the werewolves who she ends up finding solace in when I was far away.

"But _I _didn't bring them back. Don't you know?" Her chin jutted out in a smug way, happy to know she knew something I didn't.

"Know what?"

"My bad luck had nothing to do with it. The werewolves came back because the vampires did."

I felt a start of surprise.

"Jacob told me that your family being here set things in motion. I thought you would already know…"

_Oh_, so they were going to blame _us_ for their problems? Maybe it was Jacob's way of trying to show Bella the kind of evil monsters we were.

"Is that what they think?" My eyes narrowed.

"Edward, look at the facts. Seventy years ago, you came here, and the werewolves showed up. You come back now, and the werewolves show up again. Do you think that's a coincidence?"

It was hard to admit that there might be a grain of truth to her words. "Carlisle will be interested in that theory." I redirected my thoughts.

"Theory," she scoffed.

I stared out the window, unseeing. My dislike for Jacob deepened even further. Imagines of the past were infecting my brain like diseased things. I could literally see resentment swelling in the darkness outside. If the theory were correct then it really was my fault that she had placed herself into more danger. Then I realized that maybe she was trying to distract _me _now.

"Interesting, but not exactly relevant," I told her after several spiraling seconds of silence. "The situation remains the same." I reminded her.

Bella bit her bottom lip – a sign of anxiety – before she got out of her seat and rounded the table. My arms automatically opened to invite her to sit on my lap, which she did. Her warmth spread throughout my whole body while her outrageous flavor floated in the air around us. Her head fit perfectly under my chin and it was suddenly hard to concentrate.

"Please just listen for a minute. This is so much more important than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in _pain_." Again, her voice was throbbing with emotion. "I can't _not _try to help him - I can't give up on him now, when he needs me. Just because he's not human all the time. . . . Well, he was there for me when I was . . . not so human myself." I flinched. "You don't know what it was like. . . ." she hesitated. It was hard to hear this. She wouldn't need to go comfort him if I would have just been smart enough to not leave her. My teeth locked tight enough to cut steel and my hands automatically welled up into fists. I closed my eyes, trying to swallow my anger. "If Jacob hadn't helped me . . ." she continued. "I'm not sure what you would have come home to. I owe him better than this, Edward."

I was quite still as the impact of her words hit me. "I'll never forgive myself for leaving you," I whispered. "Not if I live a hundred thousand years." It was hard to hide the infinite sadness that resonated in my voice.

Her warm hand covered my cheek and I sighed, breathing out all of my frustration and opened my eyes to meet the emotions of her brown depths.

"You were just trying to do the right thing," she tried to calm my obvious distress. "And I'm sure it would have worked with anyone less mental than me. Besides, you're here now. That's the part that matters."

"If I'd never left, you wouldn't feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a _dog_."

She flinched, but she needed to understand why I felt this way, and why I refuse to let her see him. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to her around those dogs.

"I don't know how to phrase this properly. It's going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I've come too close to losing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am _not _going to tolerate anything dangerous."

"You have to trust me on this. I'll be fine."

There was rage boiling within me and it was a titanic effort not to take her away from this place so she could never see the werewolves again. "Please, Bella," I whispered almost desperately.

Her gaze was intense. "Please what?"

"Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I'll do everything I can, but I would appreciate a little help." It was hard to keep my temper from rising. Why did she have to always fight so hard against me?

"I'll work on it," she said with a dull murmur of ascent.

"Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?" My arms constricted around her and her head found the hollow beneath my ear.

She kissed my neck gently, sending electricity zinging through my body.

"I know how much _I _love _you_," she whispered.

If she could feel even an ounce of the love I had for her, she would explode with emotion. "You compare one small tree to the entire forest."

"Impossible."

I kissed the top of her head and sighed at her absurdity.

"No werewolves." I ordered.

"I'm not going along with that. I have to see Jacob," she pressed.

"Then I'll have to stop you," I spoke with finality. It wouldn't be a problem between me and Alice to keep an eye on her.

"We'll see about that," I said confidently. "He's still my friend."

Regardless of her stubbornness there was no way in hell I was going to let her anywhere near Jacob. Hasn't he caused her enough pain? I most definitely couldn't allow her to see him again.

There was a huffy silence for several minutes that seemed to stretch out forever before Charlie cleared his throat. Bella leapt a foot off my lap and then looked at the time. We both sighed at the same time.

Charlie tapped on his watch. "Curfew," he reminded us.

Bella kissed me goodnight and waved as I left the house, Charlie peering over her shoulder the whole time.

When her front door shut I gave one last sweeping gaze over the woods before getting in my car and speeding off. It was hard to leave her, even for a few hours at a time.

The wind and rain doused my car in bucket amounts as the windshield wipers worked laboriously to shift the water from the glass.

It was only a few minutes before I was turned towards my house.

As I weaved my way down our extensive drive, lamps sprang to life on the porch. Alice opened the front door, silhouetted in the pale golden light that spilled across the lawn. Emmett and Jasper came crashing through the trees, soaking wet with large smiles on their faces.

"This is going to be so much fun."Emmett said excitedly.

"Alice said tonight would be perfect for playing a game in the clearing…" Jasper grinned happily.

"Hey Edward," Emmett said gleefully while grabbing me around my shoulders and dragging me through the front door, Alice bobbing behind us.

"Everyone wants to play ball tonight. Are you game?" Alice asked in a singsong voice.

"I don't know…" I stated.

"That's right – he needs to go see his sweet precious Bella," Rosalie said in a falsely sweet voice, though she was learning to tolerate Bella and deep down she meant her no harm.

"Well, yes. That is exactly what I had planned on doing," I grinned at her.

Alice came up from behind and put her arm through mine. "Edward," she said. "Bella will be just fine tonight," she paused to let the rush of images of a very uneventful night take over her thoughts. "See what I mean? Everything will be all right. We'll get you back here before midnight." She patted my arm.

"Yup, we sure will," Rosalie shot me a smirk. "We need to get you back here before midnight so your pretty press and pumpkin won't disintegrate," she continued to smile at me in a very irritating fashion.

Alice sprung over to her and gave her a scolding look. "Rosalie, you know just as well as the rest of us that Bella needs to be looked after. She's a magnet for danger." Alice winked at me. _And Edward is always in a better mood when he spends time with her, _she added thoughtfully.

"True," Rosalie said while everyone else nodded in agreement.

"Here, here," Emmet said in a knightly fashion. "You know…I bet Edward looks really pretty in a dress, now that I think about it." Emmett added in a mock thoughtful voice, adding to the Cinderella comment.

I ignored that.

Carlisle patted my shoulder. _No nomads this time, agreed? _He grinned at me.

"Definitely not," I told him, glad our earlier disagreement was behind us.

"Please?" Emmett begged.

"Okay, okay," I agreed. "Let's do this."

They were all more excited than they should be about this when I finally decided to say yes to the baseball game – a game I hadn't played since the incident with James. Emmett had pounced on me while Jasper yanked his leg and watched him fall with a crash to the ground. Laughter erupted from everyone, even Emmett. Esme was even beaming down at us fondly.

_It's so good to have you back, Edward. _Her eyes met mine for a moment, and their golden depths revealed the true happiness that was radiating out of every part of her.

It felt wonderful that I was no longer the cause of her distress. She never deserved to feel that way, and every moment I was back with my family and with Bella, the more I realized how incredibly stupid I really was for ever leaving her in the first place.

Our journey to the clearing was wet – extremely wet – considering the down pour of rain that continued to soak us. We raced around mossy cliffs and on top of precipitous ravines.

On our way there, Emmett caught scent of a wild cat and went thundering after it. It was only a matter of seconds before he was racing back to where Jasper and I waited, with his kill around his neck.

"Want to share?" Emmett grabbed the dead cat and flapped it around in front of our faces. We both shook our heads. "Suit yourselves," he laughed and then bit into the carcass with indecent enthusiasm.

Jasper and I rolled our eyes. "We'll meet you in the clearing. Everyone else is already there," I said.

"Okay," his words were muffled with the hair of the cat.

When we reached the clearing lightning was lancing through the sky ominously. Seconds after a peal of thunder made the ground below our feet shake. It was perfect for our game. We split into teams, Emmett and Alice on my team, and Jasper, Carlisle and Rosalie on the other. Esme was the catcher.

Their team was up to bat first, so Emmett and I spread out close to the trees as Alice went to the pitcher's mound. Jasper came up to bat. It was hard to concentrate when Emmett and Jasper were sizing each other up across the field. They were continually watching each other for signs of weakness.

Alice threw the ball forcefully towards Jasper and he hesitated for only a fraction of a second – it was long enough that the ball went whizzing past him and collided with Esme's mitt. She threw the ball back to Alice.

Alice turned to face me for a minute. _He's going to hit the next one, so please, please don't miss it. And don't listen to Rosalie!_

She turned back around and sent the ball lightning across the field. Jasper's bat slammed into the ball and it went flying straight down the middle of the field. Alice was right about Rosalie, though. She was screaming at the top of her mental lungs random insults and words. It was nothing but gibberish - a way to try and distract me from catching the ball. I wanted to yell at her and tell her to shut up, but I remembered what Alice said. Rosalie's thoughts made it fell like someone was beating my skull from the inside.

With all my might I blocked her thoughts from my mind as the ball went flying past my shoulder. I darted into the trees to grab the ball. It was only a second before I caught up with its full force and threw it back to Emmet. When I came back through the trees Jasper gave me a disdainful look. I just grinned at him.

Emmet and I high-fived. It was Rosalie's turn to bat. Wind and rain lashed through the field, but that didn't stop us from playing just as aggressively. More snide comments came resonating from Rosalie's mind but I had endured her comments for several decades and now it was only automatic for me to place them in the back of my mind.

The game continued for quite some time as we all squelched through the mud and watched several spectacular saves. The game was coming to a close as the wind whistled in my ears. And then I barely caught the ball that Emmett sent rocketing in my direction. I ran to second base where Carlisle was sliding to and then the game was over. My team had won.

As promised, it was only fifteen minutes until midnight and I was able to race home, shower change and drive my car through the rainy abyss towards Bella's house. Normally, I would have ran all the way, but it was raining and I didn't want to show up in her bed wet and colder than normal.

I parked my car several blocks away and found myself outside her window in seconds. She had left it open a few inches. I opened it all the way, closed it tightly behind me and scooped her up into my arms. She didn't wake, but still cuddled into my embrace, her head tucked under my chin. That's where I lay until the sun rose above the clouds, bathing the land in a ghostly reflection of daylight.

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**Author's Note: **_If you are wondering "When the hell is lolafalana going to update her stuff?" Check out my profile. I will put on there what my current writing task is, and when I plan on posting it. That way everyone knows what's going on! Anyways – Thanks for the reviews I have received. Keep 'em coming._

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**Please Review!**

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Lolafalana is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of Eclipse. No copyright infringement is intended.

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	3. Visions Suck

3. Visions Suck

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It was in my first period class when I heard of Bella's time at the movie theatre while I was, well, abroad.

…_if it wasn't for Jacob – _Mike Newton glared at me from the other side of the class room. _– well, okay, if it wasn't for me getting sick maybe Bella wouldn't have taken Cullen back. I mean, it was sort of like a date…wasn't it? We could have been together now._

_Wow, _Eric looked between us. _Now even the guys are staring at Cullen. I can never catch a break._

My lips twitched up and Bella lightly brushed my hand. I looked at her brilliant smile and returned it.

…_I mean the movie completely sucked, but I know – I just know that if Jacob wasn't there that she would have held my hand. _

My teeth mashed together.

"Edward?" Bella whispered. "You look like someone just chiseled your jaw from granite."

Instantly, I relaxed my mouth. As always, she was overly observant.

…_Ugh. I just don't get the attraction what so ever. Cullen of all people! But Bella now… well, she's beautiful. _Mike Newton's eyes traced over her features and I moved my desk some so I was in his view.

_So there,_ I thought happily.

Today, it seems, was just another day when I find out a little more about Bella's time away from me. It hurt. And it most definitely stung. Bella knew this, and I was pretty sure that is why she never mentioned it. But, I had to admit – I was curious. Why did she go to the movies with Jacob and Mike? What an odd combination. Did others go too?

Jacob. My thoughts turned darker. _The werewolf_. This morning when I left Bella's house there was a trace of his scent in the woods. Absolutely revolting, I might add. Was he spying on her – on us? Why won't he just leave us alone?

When lunch time finally rolled around Bella and I walked hand in hand to the cafeteria. I saw as her expressions changed on her face, and for once, I actually delighted in the silence of her mind. It was a break from all the non-sense I had been listening to all morning. Well – it was a break until her face roamed across some posters about graduation and she swallowed hard and looked a little sick.

Now that I had seen _that_ look, I wondered if she was _really_ ready after all – for the change. She demanded it, backed it up, planned for it, yet here she was looking absolutely sick about it. Or maybe it was something else? The stomach flu, perhaps?

Going through the lunch line I piled her favorite foods onto one tray to take back to the table. To everyone else it would just seem like there were two lunches, but I wasn't going to eat.

_Looks like it's going to be a pretty uneventful day, _Alice informed me while we were walking towards the table. She turned to peer over at us. _Good god! What is she wearing?_

Ben and Angela were already at the table eating their food.

"Have you sent your announcements, yet?" Angela asked Bella as soon as we sat down. _By the time I'm done addressing all the envelopes, graduation will have passed._ She nudged her food with her fork some, her mood a little frantic.

…_and that shirt! _Alice continued to look Bella over, genuinely upset over her outfit. _I'm going to have to sneak into her closet and throw all her clothes away. This just won't do._

"No," Bella answered Angela, trying to ignore Alice's scrutiny. "There's no point, really. Renée knows when I'm graduating. Whoelse is there?"

…_must be nice,_ Angela placed her head in her hands, thoughtful.

…_And those shoes! I have really got my work cut out _–

"How about you, Alice?" Angela cut into her thoughts.

Alice smiled, looked at me, _Would you like to come to my 45__th__ graduation?_ she thought sarcastically before answering, "All done."

_I love my family but why do I have to invite them all? _"Lucky you." Angela sighed. "My mother has a thousand cousins and she expects me to hand-address one to everybody. I'm going to get carpal tunnel. I can't put it off any longer and I'm just dreading it."

"I'll help you," Bella offered, surprising me. "If you don't mind my awful handwriting." And her handwriting really was awful.

I was glad she was going to get the opportunity to leave the house after being sanctioned to stay inside for so long. I smiled. Also, this will keep Charlie off her back, at least for a little while. It won't be long, though, before he mentions Jacob again.

_And Bella surprises me once again. Thank god for some help!_ Angela sighed a bit in relief. "That's so nice of you. I'll come over any time you want." _…heck, I'll cut off my pinky finger if she would just help!_

"Actually, I'd rather go to your house if that's okay - I'm sick of mine." Bella grinned widely. "Charlie un-grounded me last night," her voice was cheery.

"Really?" Angela perked up a little at the news. "I thoughtyou said you were in for life."

…_we could fly to Paris to buy her some new clothes, or we could take her to Germany. There is that big festival going on this time of year and – _Alice continued on and on in her mind. Making plan after plan.

"I'm more surprised than you are. I was sure I would at least have finished high school beforehe set me free." Bella said excitedly.

"Well, this is great, Bella! We'll have to go out to celebrate." Angela and Bella's heads came close together, like they were gossiping old ladies. It thrilled me to see her so content.

"You have no idea how good that sounds."

"What should we do?" Alice pondered, the many ideas flickering through her head so fast she didn't even predict Bella's next statement.

"Whatever you're thinking, Alice, I doubt I'm _that _free."

Alice was taken a little aback by her statement. _But…_ she almost frowned. "Free is free, right?" she insisted. _Charlie wouldn't mind…_

"I'm sure I still have boundaries - like the continental U.S., for example."

Almost all of Alice's plans went up in a puff of smoke. Angela and Ben thought it was a funny joke and laughed, but Alice was truly upset.

…_there goes Paris…_

"So what are we doing tonight?" Alice persisted, deciding she was going to get some good out of her freedom. As soon as Alice had found out about it, she was more concerned about my well-being that I totally forgot about how much this would excite her. She had spent the whole evening on the internet looking for entertaining things they could get into.

Bella shook her head in frustration. "Nothing. Look, let's give it a couple of days to make sure he wasn't joking," she blanched at the thought. "It's a schoolnight, anyway."

_I do always forget that she needs sleep._ Alice's grin grew. "We'll celebrate this weekend, then." Her enthusiasm was impossible to repress.

"Sure," Bella said cautiously.

"There's this new restaurant opening in Port Angeles –" Angela began.

"Or," Alice jumped in, grabbing a grape off her plate and popping it into her mouth, "we could go to Hoquiam. There's a concert going on…"

After watching Alice pretend to eat a grape (which I found out from reading her mind) I ignored the rest of the conversation to enjoy just being near my love again. No Jacob, no distance and no Volturi. Things were perfect.

My eyes rarely left Bella's face and it seemed she was deep into her thoughts. It was wrong for me to wish I could intrude on them, to find out what she was really thinking, but I did. All the time. Even though her silence was one of the things I truly loved about her. Being with her was peaceful, quiet. She was completely oblivious to the fact that I was watching her as she ate her food in a mechanical way and then frown at the table, like something was deeply bothering her.

Before I even had the opportunity to try and penetrate the bubble around her brain or ask what was on her mind there were other voices in my head, or more accurately, just a voice. Alice was shouting my name in her mind. Who knew how long she was doing it, but suddenly it stopped when my head snapped up to meet her eyes. Her very vacant eyes. Alice was having a vision, one I preferred not to see. On that note, her mind instantly sucked me into it.

"Alice? Alice!" I heard Angela and barely recognized her waving her hand in front of Alice's face, trying to get some sort of reaction out of her. I was still too busy watching the scene unfold before me, trying my hardest to rip my way from the vision. Victoria was coming back.

It only took me a second to realize the situation at hand; the vision, the lunch room and the five students that were staring in her direction, all curious to see what was happening at our end of the table. Trying to push the images from my head I searched for a distraction. I needed to remove the attention from her. The first thing that came to mind was the first thing I did.

I laughed as naturally as I could manage while surveying Alice and Bella out of my peripheral vision. Bella's familiar flush had simultaneously seeped from her face as she stared in horror at Alice's blank expression. My first response was to reassure her that she was all right. That I would – _we_ would – never let anything happen to her. But, I had to remember the audience before us and tried to joke my way out of this awkward situation.

Every eye that was watching Alice was now staring at me as I pretended the best way I could to snigger.

_Both the Cullen's have lost their minds._

…_she get's that stare a lot…_

"Is it naptime already, Alice?" I nudged her a little, trying to seem as teasing as I could while trying to get her attention.

She blinked, one very obvious move to show she had come back to planet earth. "Sorry, I was daydreaming, I guess," she sighed.

"Daydreaming's better than facing two more hours of school," Ben said.

_...that was weird._

_Freaks._

It was hard to concentrate after that and absentmindedly I started spinning strands of Bella's hair around my finger. It only stole my mind away from things for a few seconds before the distracting thoughts and the images playing in my mind were in the forefront. It was hard to keep track of the conversation at the table because Victoria was coming to town and she didn't look very happy.

Of course I knew it was inevitable, but I seriously didn't think it would happen so soon. Thinking about my time in the south while I was tracking her only made me angrier as each second passed. Alice could see my despondent look, but was still smiling and talking so happily you'd think she took a valium.

_Her game is all about running the border between our territory and the werewolves. _Alice thought while acting like she was listening to something Ben was saying about a movie. _You know her game – avoid, avoid, avoid! It's giving me a headache trying to think about it because she becomes fuzzy the closer she encircles the werewolves territory._ She paused to put in her two cents about a dress that Angela was pointing at in a magazine before returning to her mental conversation._ I have a bad feeling about this. It makes me extremely uneasy to not be able to see the absolute future. _She caught my eye for only a second, a look that was so pointed that anyone who noticed would think that we were communicating without words._ Edward, I think you should take Bella somewhere far away from here this weekend. _

As she looked away I noticed Bella had seen the whole exchange. _Crap_.

Before we left lunch I had devised a plan so Bella would not ask me about Alice's vision by distracting her or keeping myself busy talking with people. Normally I prefer not to interact with humans let alone seek them out for pleasant conversation so deep down I knew that I was just holding off on the inevitable.

When the bell rang to signify our departure to class I moved fluidly next to Ben to ask about our assignment in history as Alice lopped me on the head with the grape. No one else noticed. Bella eyed me curiously, but it was my words that caught her attention, not the food and I just realized I'd already slipped. It was only the other night that I informed her that my homework was complete in that class. I was always making mistakes around her.

Our next few classes drug on as my mind flipped ideas around like a lottery machine, just trying to figure out the next number, or in my case, the right way to ask Bella to go away with me this weekend. I knew she would jump at the opportunity if it weren't for her recent un-grounding and her father keeping an eye on her more than ever. I also knew that if she knew the circumstances behind the whole idea she would be scared, and that's the last thing I wanted.

Alice was no help either. All through class her head would suddenly seek me out with things that we all three could do this weekend. She offered to take Bella herself, knowing Charlie would be more likely to let Bella leave with her than me, but she knew there was no way, especially after James, that I would let Bella go _anywhere_ without me when danger was amiss.

When school finally ended I had still come up with nothing. Absolutely no ideas.

Mike Newton had picked up his books and was exiting the class door. I watched as his hair disappeared behind the door frame. I jumped up. By doing this, I knew that I was crossing my careful lines. Bella would be able to tell something was going on. How could she not. Still, I grabbed up both of our books and rushed towards Mike before he left school.

"Hey, Mike," I said nonchalantly, acting like I was catching my breath.

"Edward?" _…what's he want? Hasn't he already proven he got the girl?_

"Did you apply to any colleges?" I asked, trying to seem friendly.

He replied and his thoughts were just as confused as the look on Bella's face when I looked over my shoulder to see her trailing behind. Our eyes met and she raised her eyebrows, wondering what was up my sleeve.

". . . but I just replaced the battery," Mike was saying as we rounded into the school parking lot. _He has to want something. Why else would he be acting all friendly? Normally he is giving me the stare of death._ He picked up his pace some, trying to get to his car faster.

"Perhaps it's the cables?" I suggested, still trying to keep up the pleasantries.

"Maybe. I really don't know anything about cars," Mike admitted suspiciously. "I need to have someone look at it, but I can't afford to take it to Dowling's."

"I know a few things - I could take a look, if you like," I offered. "Just let me drop Alice and Bella at home."

And that is when his jaw dropped dramatically. _…did he just offer help? _He caught Bella's incredulous look. _…and she's just as stunned as I am? What game is he playing? _His mouth was still hanging open slightly. "Er . . . thanks," he finally said, once he gathered his thoughts. "But I have to get to work. Maybe some other time." _Not. Still a freak…_

"Absolutely." I lied just as easily as he did.

"See ya," he said while practically diving into his car. _…so weird…_ he shook his head in disbelief.

Bella and I walked towards the Volvo, which was only two cars away. Still no ideas. Oh crap.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Please forgive me. It's a very short chapter. This is going to be how it is for a while, which means faster results but smaller chapters. Work with me here! I work full time and I am starting school next week to top it off. Architectural Drafting, Mapping and English on top of all these wonderful books I'm reading and one I am currently writing I am a bit busy. A lot busy, actually. Sorry for the small chapter, but I promise to try to update more often.

* * *

**Please Review!

* * *

**

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Lolafalana is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of Eclipse. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *


	4. Addiction

4. Addiction

* * *

It was an addiction. One that I am proud to say I have, but hard to refuse, all the same. There was something deeply satisfying in protecting Bella. She was my love, my life…my everything. Keeping her from harm was what I lived to accomplish. My past attempts may have been monstrously disastrous, but I refused to fail her now.

With my conviction, a plan began forming in my head. Alice was singing delightedly in the car as we walked towards it. She looked to the future, like she did on a regular basis. This time she saw that I would need her help and she was more than willing to oblige. There was a deep seeded anxiety that I would leave again. Protecting Bella now had doubled the significance to her.

_I'll distract her. _

When we reached the Volvo, I held the door open for Bella as she turned to give me a stunned look, boarding on incredulous. "What was _that _about?"

"Just being helpful," I explained, keeping my answer vague.

_Cue distractions. _Alice began rambling. "You're really not _that _good a mechanic, Edward. Maybe you should have Rosalie take a look at it tonight, just so you look good if Mike decides to let you help, you know. Not that it wouldn't be fun to watch his face if _Rosalie _showed up to help. But since Rosalie is supposed to be across the country attending college, I guess that's not the best idea. Too bad. Though I suppose, for Mike's car, you'll do. It's only within the finer tunings of a good Italian sports car that you're out of your depth. And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche. I don't know that I want to wait for Christmas. . . ." Alice was great at keeping the flow of conversation going. And going…

Bella, in the passenger seat, had her arms folded across her chest, looking out the window. Her lips were pursed slightly, I saw in the reflection of the glass. When Alice was gone, I knew I was going to get the first degree. It was inevitable.

The road curved and I whipped around the corner at eighty. Bella didn't even flinch. I turned to look at the road and smiled when she wasn't looking.

"…and then Rosalie said…" Alice continued her constant babbling. As the drive came into view her voice trailed off. Through her eyes, I could see the deep mossy oak of a tree and a blur of a vision as the sign of Forks come into view. Our eyes met in the rear view mirror. _Victoria isn't backing down. _Alice frowned deeply.

My foot eased on the brake as we slowed at the entrance to the driveway. She gracefully exited, but as she ducked her head back under the door she sent me a command. _Do everything you can to get her out of here. I can't see what will happen with Bella since some decisions haven't solidified in her head. Keep her safe. _

"See you later," I said, the meaning deeper than the simple words. With a slight tilt of my head to acknowledge her, she thought, _I know you will. _Alice melted into the trees.

Surprisingly, Bella didn't start her questioning. It was so out of character for her that I thought maybe I was only imagining the fact that she noticed the tension between us. It was difficult to try and keep secrets from her, but I knew how stubborn she could be. How she would worry about Charlie, and her friends before she ever considered herself. That was just who she was.

She stayed muted, and instead of risking any conversation, in fear she might think of it as a sign to request answers, I also kept my mouth shut. The silence didn't matter though, Bella and I seemed to communicate without the flow of words and with just the slight inflections of her face I knew she was only preparing herself what exactly she was going to inquire about.

We sat in her drive for a few seconds before I decided to break the ice. "Light homework load tonight," I stated. The words were laced with an undertone of a diverse meaning.

"Mmm," she responded, her mind in a different universe. Only if I could infiltrate that unyielding wall blocking me from her thoughts, I would be able to prepare myself for whatever it was she wanted to know. But wasn't that what was so captivating about our relationship? That I would never know what she was going to say. She always astonished me with her far from simple spoken words.

"Do you suppose I'm allowed inside again?"

"Charlie didn't throw a fit when you picked me up for school," she said simply.

We went inside without another word to each other. I was feeling uneasy in the secrecy. I wouldn't tell her what Alice had seen, at least not now. Bella tramped up the stairs and I followed solemnly.

Her room smelt like her; freesia and strawberries. It was the scent that I craved the most when I was away. During my black time, the dark months…or that is what my family referred to them in their head when they didn't think I was listening. But no matter how hard I tried, I was always hearing them. It was tough enough knowing that I hurt them, even worse that Bella wouldn't even talk to me about that time. She was doing it to spare my feelings. Always so _selfless_. I'd come full circle, back to where I was before.

I suppressed a sigh and tried my best to relax on her bed. My eyes roamed to the window. It was my intent to look as though I had no cares in the world, and so she wouldn't notice my knowing stare. The one that screamed:_ I'm holding secrets from you_!

She pushed her backpack under her desk and pressed the button to turn the computer on. The machine hummed to life, struggling to load all the programs. I'd like to gift her a laptop, but I knew she would say it was too much and demand I return it.

When her back was to mine, I watched her intently, dropping all pretenses. She leaned over the desk, her head resting on her palm while the other did a dance with her fingertips; the clicking noise was full of tension and agitation. In one fluid movement I was behind her, willing for her to take comfort in me. My fingers reached out to stop the strumming of her fingers. Still, I had to constantly remind myself to be gentle, careful.

"Are we a little impatient today?" I whispered against her ear. Her breath warped around me, sending my body into overdrive. Her face turned to mine and her hard stare melted as she saw the longing in my eyes.

Her lips were only inches from mine. In my mind, it was like miles. The distance was too much and I had to repair it. Again, her breath filled the small space between us and it took every fiber of my being not to tackle her right there and then. _Gentle_, I reminded myself, though the monster inside was screaming, _take her now_.

My lips grazed hers and she met mine with a fierceness I wish I could reciprocate. This was a distraction for both of us. For her edginess and for my secret withholding. But none of those things seemed to matter once our mouths were on each other. It all flew out the window.

My body reacted much like it had before, but this time there was an urgency to have her. My fingers snaked their way into her hair and latched on. My grip firm, yet tender. It was binding, and that only made Bella react with a bold eagerness. Her warmth radiated down my spine and made my toes curl in pleasure. I was a cold creature, but right then I could have sworn there was a fire burning between us.

Her tongue licked my lip and my body could only want more. My hand moved down her back and I pressed her against my body, the distance between us was still too far. All I could think about was her in my arms, my hands in her hair and my body against hers. The heat continued to spread as my finger tips brought her closer. The electricity was to the point of explosion. I was surprised the lights weren't flickering on and off with the atmosphere in the room.

Her body trembled beneath my firm grip and a tiny voice spoke in my head. _You're going to lose control, Edward. _My hands relaxed as I tried to bring myself back to planet earth. She bound herself to me, and clung to my body making it almost impossible to stop. I didn't want to stop. I thought I would combust. Her tongue traced my lip again, this time a little too close to my teeth. It was with the thought of how dangerous I could be if I lost my control that I was able to break my grip…my hold on this fantasy of having _all _of Bella. Something I couldn't have. Ever. Not until she was as strong as me…and I wasn't pushing for that, either.

Bella didn't care though; she continued to mold herself to my body. Doing my best to push her away softly and sweetly was a challenge, but I managed it after several long seconds of contemplating taking a deep breath and going in for more. But the last thing I needed was for a tag team to start up between the Edward I am, and the monster from within.

When my senses began to return I felt dirty, and a guttural laugh escaped my lips. One, for fervent longing and two, for the way she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. Which was on that bed…

"Ah, Bella." I sighed, absolutely lost in desire.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not," she whispered.

"And I should feel sorry that you're not sorry, but I don't. Maybe I should go sit on the bed." The bed…I wanted to invite her to sit with me. _Bad idea, _I told myself.

She exhaled and her cheeks were flushed with the fire that was burning before. "If you think that's necessary. . . ."

I did.

Her body was still pressed against mine. _Bring her with me or not_…I smiled at the thought, but I knew better than to push ourselves to the point of no return. Which I so desperately wanted to go…_right now_. My legs carried me to the bed, my heart begging to return to her.

She shook her head a few times before turning to face the computer, her breath still heavy in the air. Her pulse was sending waves of freesia my direction. She was just as shaken as I was with the incident. If _that_ wasn't a distraction from Alice's vision, I didn't know what was. _I_ even momentarily forgot about it.

Her fingers pecked at the keys and I smiled at her cuteness. She opened an email from Renée and I turned away, understanding that she would want privacy because even from the bed I could decipher the words.

"Tell Renée I said hello." I said.

"Sure thing," she murmured.

Bella tentatively read through the email and continued to make exasperated sighs and grunts and even noticeably shaking her head at the words on the screen. It made me more tempted to see what she was reading, and so I scanned the room, hoping to give her the privacy she deserves. I needed a distraction of my own.

After a quick reading she began to type her way through a response. My eyes were looking at the old paintings on the wall from the years when she was only a child. Then my eyes landed on something odd looking. Something out of place. It looked like wires that were eaten through by rats and sticking out of something black and mechanical.

My curiosity was piqued and I rose swiftly, finding my way only feet away from the mystery in the closet. My heart sank horribly and I stayed silent as I examined the pile of gifts she had received from my family last year. An empty CD case, the plane tickets that I hid beneath her floor boards. And the stereo that Emmett dutifully installed into her car only moments before Jasper took a snap at her.

I thought back…I hadn't been in her truck since I returned from Italy. I hadn't noticed anything suspicious because I was unaware that there was possibly a gaping hole in her truck. My eyes roamed to the window but the angle her truck was sitting I was unable to get a good view of the dashboard. I made to note to peek inside when I left.

When I looked back at the wild tangle of wires my hand began to reach out to touch it but then Bella's chair made a noise and I realized she was finished with her email. My arm snapped back.

"What did you _do _to this?" I asked, absolutely shocked. My voice came out harsher then I intended.

"It didn't want to come out of the dashboard," she answered indifferently.

"So you felt the need to torture it?"

"You know how I am with tools. No pain was inflicted intentionally." There was an inflection in her voice, one that said she didn't want to explore this subject farther.

In my attempt to make the topic light I said, "You killed it," while shaking my head.

She shrugged. "Oh, well." Again, the silent communication was screaming, _drop this, drop it now_!

"It would hurt their feelings if they saw this," I explained, trying to make her realize it wasn't about her, it was about my family. "I guess it's a good thing that you've been on house arrest. I'll have to get another one in place before they notice."

"Thanks, but I don't need a fancy stereo."

"It's not for your sake that I'm going to replace it."

She sighed, exasperated.

My addiction to save her. The hero complex – as Alice once called it – burned in me again as I remembered the evening of her eighteenth birthday. "You didn't get much good out of your birthday presents last year," I muttered, absolutely livid with myself for all the pain I had inflicted upon Bella. Even her face winced when I mentioned it.

But, it was time to move on, time to put this obsession to keep her alive to use.

Esme's gift was staring me in the face, and I seized it and began fanning myself with it, an idea brewing in my head. Florida. A place that we all would approve of, _even Charlie_.

"Do you realize these are about to expire?" I asked, holding the envelope out to Bella. Comprehension dawned on her face. She must have forgotten about the plane tickets that Esme and Carlisle bought for us. They both speculated and pondered about what to get Bella for days. Alice had predicted she would accept her gift gracefully. What Alice didn't see, were the events leading up to her receiving the gift. Now that she has the opportunity to use them, it would please them _and_ keep Bella from harm.

Bella inhaled deeply. It was easy to tell she didn't know how to answer. I didn't even need to see inside her mind to know that she wanted to see Renée, but her mind was still wheeling with the memories. I knew this, because now they were on my mind.

"No. I'd forgotten all about them, actually." Her voice was lifeless.

My heart ached, but this wasn't about me. This was about her, and she no longer needed to worry about me leaving her. I plastered a smile on my face. "Well, we still have a little time. You've been liberated . . . and we have no plans this weekend, as you refuse to go to the prom with me." I grinned, remembering last year when she giggled like a kid on Christmas as I spun her around the dance floor. "Why not celebrate your freedom this way?"

She gasped. "By going to Florida?"

"You did say something about the continental U.S. being allowable." I teased.

Her eyes shot towards my face, a look of suspicion rolling over her features. She seemed to be contemplating, which was slowly driving me nuts. Her mind, like always, was on lockdown.

"Well?" I pushed. "Are we going to see Renée or not?"

She pursed her lips. "Charlie will never allow it."

Since when did she do things according to Charlie's demands? Phoenix…Italy…I should remind her she isn't under his thumb, at least not for long. She needed to start sticking up for herself. "Charlie can't keep you from visiting your mother. She still has primary custody."

"Nobody has custody of me. I'm an adult."

I smiled brightly. "Exactly." I said with triumph.

Her eyes bore into mine as she contemplated my words. First she looked a little distressed. Her eyes scrunched together for a second as her face turned wistful. I didn't need to be a mind reader to know that she was thinking about how badly she wanted to be spending time with her mother.

She exhaled finally. "Not this weekend."

Her answer surprised me. "Why not?" I asked, incredulous.

"I don't want to fight with Charlie. Not so soon after he's forgiven me."

_Great_, I thought sarcastically. I thought this would be easier, but obviously she's going to be difficult. I should have seen this coming. Always so stubborn. "I think this weekend is perfect," I muttered under my breath.

She shook her head "Another time." her voice was firm.

"You aren't the only one who's been trapped in this house, you know." My lips twitched down, a frown forming. Alice's vision swirled in my head and all I could think about was getting her out of town. And Florida would be perfect – thousands of miles away. Plus, seeing her mother would make her happy.

"You can go anywhere you want," she pointed out.

"The outside world holds no interest for me without you," I said honestly. She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "I'm serious," I said.

Hadn't I made my love for her known? Didn't I tell her that when she was absent from my life all I did was sink into a depression so deep at times I thought I would die? I was hollow without her, and even though I was trying to convince her to leave town this weekend, I was still being honest about my feelings. She was the meaning to my existence.

"Let's take the outside world slowly, all right? For example, we could start with a movie in Port Angeles. . . ."

I groaned. "Never mind. We'll talk about it later." Or I'll talk to Charlie about it. I didn't want to go this route, but I'll push her that direction if I have to. If she is so worried he won't let her go…well, then I'll just have to show her how mistaken she is.

"There's nothing left to talk about."

I shrugged with faux indifference. There was something left to talk about. But for now, I let the subject drop.

"Okay, then, new subject. What did Alice see today at lunch?"

With all my strength I kept my face blank as I watched her eyes scrutinize what my reaction might be. It only took me seconds to think of an alternative vision that Alice could've had that would have nothing to do with Bella. She didn't need to know about Victoria. Not yet, at least.

"She's been seeing Jasper in a strange place, somewhere in the southwest, she thinks, near his former . . . family. But he has no conscious intentions to go back." I sighed with exaggeration, letting her know how upset this has her. "It's got her worried."

"Oh." Bella said, her eyebrows knitting together. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I didn't realize you'd noticed," I lied. Of course I noticed. Bella was always seeing things normal humans didn't. "It's probably nothing important, in any case." _Just important enough to ship you off_, I added silently.

She nodded, accepting my lies with ease. It was hard to tell her false statements like this, but it was for the better. She wouldn't be scared and she wouldn't be worried about everyone besides her.

After several silent minutes she took my hand and we headed downstairs, her backpack in tow.

Homework was just a byproduct of going to school. I'd done it so many times before that this evening was no different than any other. I was finished within a few minutes and then sat back to watch Bella. She was leaning over her paper, her tongue sticking out slightly as she bit it. She was concentrating strenuously on a calculus problem and I tried not to laugh at her expression. She shook her head once and then erased a few numbers before writing over the mess it caused furiously. I smiled at her.

After several more tries at another problem, she put her pencil down, giving up and got up to make dinner. When her back was turned I quickly finished the problem for her.

Bella opened the fridge and began stacking the ingredients on the counter as I stood their studiously, waiting for an opening to help. My cooking skills had greatly improved since I'd met Bella. Even though the hamburger meat had been taken through a grinder and smelled rotten in my nose, and the noodles she boiled looked like paper, I knew that these were the foods that kept her alive. Kept her human. And I was okay with that. It was all part of my addiction – to keep her safe…and if I could help it – human.

Charlie's car pulled into the driveway, and in a matter of minutes I knew he'd be in the house. It was time to confront him about Carlisle and Esme's gifted plane tickets. I smiled devilishly to myself.

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**Author's note:** I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Everything seems just fluffy right now. But no worries, we all know what's to come…and I'll make sure it is interesting. Heck, if you review, I'll make sure it's beyond interesting. How about fantastic? *grins wickedly*

* * *

**Please Review!**

* * *

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Lolafalana is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of Eclipse. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *


	5. Adult

5. Adult

* * *

Charlie and Bella ate dinner as I relaxed in their living room, the news playing in the background. I really wasn't paying attention. They hardly said two words as Charlie shoved down three helpings of her food. She must be an excellent cook. I'd just have to assume so, especially after listening to how content and happy Charlie was during the whole eating process. He might have even moaned in pleasure a few times.

"That was great, Bells." Charlie said while kicking his feet up on top of the table.

"I'm glad you liked it. How was work?" Bella asked after he sank back into his chair and rubbed his stomach, a move that reminded me of Emmett after consuming a grizzly bear.

"Sort of slow. Well, dead slow really. Mark and I played cards for a good part of the afternoon," he confessed with a grin. "I won, nineteen hands to seven. And then I was on the phone with Billy for a while."

My eyes roamed to Bella's face where her brow twitched. I didn't know if that was a good sign or a bad one. Either way, I didn't like it.

"How is he?"

"Good, good. His joints are bothering him a little."

I tried to listen into Charlie's thoughts, but he was blocking me almost as efficiently as Bella was.

"Oh. That's too bad," she replied, an edge to her voice.

"Yeah. He invited us down to visit this weekend. He was thinking of having the Clearwaters and the Uleys over too. Sort of a playoff party. . . ."

_One she won't be going to_, I added mentally.

"Huh," she acknowledged, her eyes staring at Charlie but not really seeing him. The quiet from their minds grew perceptively for a minute. Wordlessly, I sat in the living room wishing she would have said a little more; demanded that she didn't want to go. Instead, she looked like she was thinking about how she could convince me she should go. Fat chance, and she knew it.

Neither of them replied so she got up and started gathering the dishes. That was my cue to begin phase one of my plan. She turned the water on as I grabbed a dishtowel to help with the process.

_I almost forgot he was here, _A thought finally echoed through Charlie's quiet mind. _He can't keep her from Jacob if I _insist_ that she goes with me to the reservation. _

My back was turned to him, but I could hear each of his individual breaths, every pound of his heart, and the sound of him moving as the chair scooted away from the table. He rose to his feet. _Phase one begins_. "Charlie," I called out casually. My voice was smooth, human. I turned to face him.

His heart jumped at his name on my breath. We'd been avoiding each other like the black plague. He raised an eyebrow in slight surprise. "Yeah?"

"Did Bella ever tell you that my parents gave her airplane tickets on her last birthday, so that she could visit Renée?" Again, my voice was aloof, steady.

I heard it before I saw it, the dish clattering on the edge of the sink before it rocketed to the ground, sending soap suds across all three of us. Luckily, it didn't break and no blood was shed. I could have stopped it, but I needed Charlie on my side, and scaring him with my suave behavior wouldn't win me any points.

Charlie also ignored the plate on the ground. "Bella?" he inquired in a shocked tone.

For a second I thought that she was going to ignore Charlie all together. Instead, she seized the plate from the floor and answered. "Yeah, they did."

He seemed to grow nervous at my nonchalance, a suspicion growing in his mind. He turned to me and his eyes turned to slits. He was always suspecting me – everything was always my fault and I agreed to a point. I didn't mind his doubts, he probably would agree with me if he knew the circumstances to my plan.

"No, she never mentioned it."

"Hmm," I said with indifference.

He was human, it was only a matter of seconds before he'd latch on and demand more information. Some people just couldn't stand a mystery. I let the bait sit there.

"Was there a reason you brought it up?" he asked, his voice stiff – falling perfectly into my plan.

I shrugged as if I was impartial. I was far from it. "They're about to expire. I think it might hurt Esme's feelings if Bella doesn't use her gift. Not that she'd say anything."

_It would be nice to get her away from Edward. _Charlie contemplated.

Bella looked sideways at me, an incredulous look displayed there. I was doing this for her own good. She'd forgive me eventually. That was just her nature.

"It's probably a good idea for you to visit your mom, Bella." Charlie stated. "She'd love that. I'm surprised you didn't say anything about this, though."

"I forgot," Bella conceded. She was a lousy fibber.

"You forgot that someone gave you plane tickets?" Charlie asked with a scowl on his face. _She didn't think much at all about the Cullen's when _he_ left._

His thoughts stung, but he wasn't the only one I had to hear these kinds of things from. Regardless, she still took me back. I didn't deserve her, yet she did. Now I was going to try and stop any and everything from harming the one person who had saved me.

"Mmm," was all she said as she pealed her eyes off Charlie and stared back at the dishes.

"I noticed that you said _they're _about to expire, Edward," Charlie went on without pause. "How many tickets did your parents give her?" _How often can she get away from _him_? _he added mentally.

I didn't hesitate. "Just one for her . . . and one for me," my voice was smooth, calm.

Bella's breath tumbled from her mouth, making a little noise, as she dropped another dish. This time it just clattered in the sink and neither Charlie nor myself tore ourselves away from the conversation. Though, in this moment all I could think about was prying into Bella's secret mind.

Charlie made a similar noise as Bella, his more from being enraged then of him being stunned. But it wasn't Charlie I was paying attention to, it was the sweet girl facing the sink. The scent of her blood was suddenly stronger and after catching a side-long glance at her I could see her neck and ears reddening from…anger? disbelief? distrust? Her heart pounded on, a little faster this time.

"That's out of the question!" Charlie exclaimed, gritting his teeth in out-rage.

"Why?" I asked innocently. I knew this was coming, that is why I made sure he would say yes to her going before I mentioned myself. "You just said it was a good idea for her to see her mother." I spoke coolly, with assured diligence. I had made it sound like he was contradicting himself. If this didn't work on him, I knew it would on Bella.

My words had no effect on him. I had a feeling this might happen, and yet again I was prepared for it. _Phase two_ _begins_. "You're not going anywhere with him, young lady!" he shouted, his finger pointing in her direction.

She spun around, her clothes lightly wet and soapy from the dishwater, and her eyes narrowed at the finger pointed directly at her. I had expected this, planned on this – for her to fight back.

"I'm not a child, Dad. And I'm not grounded anymore, remember?" Bella's tone was indignant.

"Oh yes, you are. Starting now," he said just as sharply. _She was supposed to be flying _away_ from him, not bringing him along. _

"For what?!" her voice rose an octave. I knew she would fight him on this, I knew she couldn't stand to be bossed around. I could hear it in her tone when she told me know one had custody of her. She meant it, now she was going to prove it.

"Because I said so." Charlie replied in his typical authoritative voice and with the classic parental phrase.

_Phase three begins_. "Do I need to remind you that I'm a legal adult, Charlie?" Again, I was right on target with her reactions, which was far from normal. Over time, it was getting easier.

"This is my house - you follow my rules!"

There was silence for just a second, and I could almost feel the temperature drop. Any second I thought icicles would form on the walls Bella looked so glacial. It was a look I'd rarely seen. "If that's how you want it. Do you want me to move out tonight? Or can I have a few days to pack?"

_Where would she go? _Charlie glared at her, his face turning an unflattering color of magenta. _Not to his house!? _His eyes flickered my direction. _Not on my watch!_

Bella's cold glare faltered. "I'll do my time without complaining when I've done something wrong, Dad, but I'm not going to put up with your prejudices."

_I have every right to be! _he wanted to say but only jumbled splutters were heard.

"Now, I know that _you _know that I have every right to see Mom for the weekend. You can't honestly tell me you'd object to the plan if I was going with Alice or Angela."

"Girls," he replied under his breath, the logic lost on him.

"Would it bother you if I took Jacob?"

My eyes turned to slits at the name, my teeth mashed together as if I were cutting steel and my vision turned red for a second. It was just automatic when I heard his name that I had these reactions, it was twice as bad when it came out of Bella's lips. Those lips that I wished would only speak my name. But, I had to play the game, keep my mouth shut. I needed Charlie on my side, and now Bella was fighting with me, on _our_ side.

_Jacob's different,_ was all Charlie thought. He still struggled with an answer, lying was just as hard for him as it was for his daughter. Must be hereditary. "Yes," he replied, his voice just as unnatural in the lie as Bella's. "That would bother me."

"You're a rotten liar, Dad."

_Agreed, _I thought, but kept that one to myself.

"Bella -"

"It's not like I'm headed off to Vegas to be a showgirl or anything. I'm going to see _Mom_," she pointed out. "She's just as much my parental authority as you are."

He wilted under her words, realizing she was right, but he didn't want her to be right. When Charlie didn't speak she continued. "Are you implying something about Mom's ability to look after me?"

He shrank under the embedded warning underlying her words. She was an excellent manipulator – sort of like Alice. No wonder they were best friends.

"You'd better hope I don't mention this to her," she continued after realization that this line of threat was most effective.

_Last thing I need is another call from Renée. _"You'd better not," he cautioned. "I'm not happy about this, Bella."

"There's no reason for you to be upset." And really, there wasn't. He just didn't know that this was all about keeping her safe.

Charlie rolled his eyes like he could hear my thoughts. He dropped the argument. If he didn't, Bella might move out and possibly tell Renée about what he said, or so he was thinking. He didn't want that, and so he was letting it go. _She's right, though, _he thought, _she is an adult now._

Bella breathed a sigh of relief and turned to pull the plug from the sink. "So my homework is done, your dinner is done, the dishes are done, and I'm not grounded. I'm going out. I'll be back before ten-thirty." Her tone was matter-of-fact and slightly smug.

"Where are you going?" Charlie asked, his face turning pink again. _I hope she doesn't plan to move out anyway…_

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "I'll keep it within a ten-mile radius, though. Okay?"

He made a noise that didn't sound like approval while Bella turned and marched out of the kitchen, ignoring his grunting protests.

"We're going out?" I whispered. This was new, and instantly I wondered what was up her sleeve…what her plans were. It was always exciting – different – to not know someone's every move.

She turned on me, her eyes showing her displeasure. She had a scowl on her face. My enthusiasm vanished. "Yes. I think I'd like to speak to you _alone_."

_All great plans have consequences_, I thought warily.

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Lolafalana is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of Eclipse. No copyright infringement is intended.

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	6. Disappearing Future

6. Disappearing Future

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Bella marched away from me, snatching her coat up. She advanced toward the front door, looking over her shoulder at me, her face showing annoyance and vague disapproval. Once we were safely inside her truck, or out of ear-shot of Charlie, she turned toward me.

"What was _that_?" she spat. I wanted to sigh at her hostility; it was so…_adorable_, like a tiny puppy barking in a high-pitched tone. Comical and entirely unthreatening.

This time I decided not to lie, but to tell a truth unrelated to the actual reason for this whole charade. "I know you want to see your mother, Bella - you've been talking about her in your sleep. Worrying actually."

Her facial expression changed instantly from outrage to uncertainty in a blink of the eye. "I have?"

I nodded thoughtfully. "But, clearly, you were too much of a coward to deal with Charlie, so I interceded on your behalf."

"Interceded?" she looked aghast. "You threw me to the sharks!"

I rolled my eyes, keeping with the pretense of nonchalance. "I don't think you were in any danger." _But you may have been, possibly, if I hadn't _interceded, I mentally added. She may never know the things I would do, or the length I'll go to keep her from ever being harmed in any fashion. Point one: I left her – something I'll always regret.

"I told you I didn't want to fight with Charlie." Her voice had cooled some. Her temper was finally abating.

"Nobody said that you had to." I shrugged.

She scowled, and once again I took in her grimace with light humor. "I can't help myself when he gets all bossy like that - my natural teenage instincts overpower me."

"Well, that's not my fault." _But I had been counting on them_. I chuckled.

I turned my view toward the windshield, though I could still see Bella reflected there. She was gazing at me, her stare calculating. I wondered, briefly, what she was thinking. It was moments like these, in her truck with her scent touching every surface, like it was a part of her that reminded me of a time before – before I left. And, for the seventh time today, the wolf ran across my mind.

As if she was reading my thoughts – _oh the irony_ – she said, "Does this sudden urge to see Florida have anything to do with the party at Billy's place?"

A muscle in my jaw twitched. A human reaction. "Nothing at all," I answered honestly. "It wouldn't matter if you were here or on the other side of the world, you still wouldn't be going." _Even if I had to march across the treaty line and drag her back, killing every wolf in the process_. Though, I kept that thought to myself. Sometimes it was better not to bait the sleeping tiger.

Her facial expression changed again. She snapped her teeth together and breathed through them. Maybe I should have kept that to myself, too. Honesty is not _always_ the best policy, apparently. I waited a minute for her to reply, but she seemed to be biting back her retort, which I was extremely thankful for. The last thing I wanted to hear is her love for the puppies down at the reservation.

Finally, I sighed in resignation and kept my tone a soft silky sound. "So what do you want to do tonight?"

She didn't hesitate. "Can we go to your house? I haven't seen Esme in so long."

That was better than the appalling alternative I thought she would recommend. Automatically, I smiled, showing my teeth. "She'll like that. Especially when she hears what we're doing this weekend."

She groaned, but it was not in protest. She'd thank me, subconsciously, if she knew why I was doing this. But just like her hormones helped me out tonight, they could easily turn against me. I feared when that might happen.

The evening went smoothly. Everyone was delighted to see Bella; even Rosalie had a nice thought in her head about the beautiful brown-eyed girl at my side. She would forever be thankful for her bravery in Italy. She knew she made a mistake, and because of that, her jealousy was twice as bad as before. Regardless, she was still appreciative.

Esme was tickled to see her, and squealed when I told her about our weekend trip to Florida. She felt just as bad as me sometimes – about leaving Bella behind – and she was mentally doing cartwheels in her mind at the gift finally being used. When Bella saw the look on Esme's face, I could see how pleased she was to make her so ecstatic.

After a few games of chess, and a couple of witty remarks and snide jokes from Emmett, Bella was in high spirits. Her eyes were even sparkling. My heart melted while watching her, the hollow ache diminished.

But of all of the events, sitting in Bella's driveway was the most entertaining. Charlie was watching a game on TV, which was not unusual. What _was_ unusual were his thoughts. We sat in the truck for a little while, her scent wrapping its complexity around my nose and deep in my lungs.

_Okay – it's time. He's sticking around. There's nothing I can do about it. _Charlie groaned. _She's old enough…and he's going to be with her over night…better safe than sorry, right? _

"You'd better not come inside," Bella warned. "It will only make things worse."

_Oh, man. How am I going to talk about this? It's Bella! She's an adult now, old enough to make her own decisions. I'll just make sure she's…informed. _

"His thoughts are relatively calm," I teased, but secretly agreed with her. I most definitely didn't want to be around for the conversation he's about to have with her.

_Informed…how the hell do I do that? 'Bella, I'm sure you've heard your classmates talk about sex…' Right, like that will work. Jeez, this is so embarrassing. Where's Renée when you need her?_

My calm demeanor flinched, my lips trembling under the pressure of a laugh that I was afraid would burst through my lips. She stared at me for a minute, contemplating, probably reading my face. I tried to pull it together.

"I'll see you later," she mumbled under her breath after a second of searching my face for something.

…_you know, he's built different than you and when you love someone you will fit together like a puzzle piece…_

That time, I couldn't hold in the guffaw, but I kissed the top of her head, as if it were her glum expression causing my laughter rather than a torn Charlie. "I'll be back when Charlie's snoring."

She gave me a look that said, _help_, before jumping out of truck and walking up the sidewalk. I got out, too, and waited patiently for her to go inside. I walked toward my car, the shiny paint glittering under the street light.

_You can do this, Charlie, get your act together, _Charlie tried to push himself into it.

What I thought was so hilarious about the whole thing was that he didn't have to worry. There was no way I could ever let myself lose that kind of control with Bella. I could only imagine what would happen if I were to be that intimate with her. A desire I deeply have, but one I know I couldn't fulfill.

"Could you come in here, Bella?" Charlie called out to her.

I laughed and started up the car, not wanting to hear his desperate attempt at trying to explain the birds and the bees. I sped away as I heard Bella say, "What's up, Dad?" Suddenly, I had sympathy for her, too.

When I arrived back at home, Alice was waiting for me in the garage, her sitting on the Mercedes. _You know, _she thought while tracing her fingers across the glossy paint of the car, _I wasn't lying earlier today when I said that I didn't want to wait until Christmas for that delicious Italian sports car._

I sighed. "I owe you my life. I'll get you the car."

_Excellent! _She automatically pictured herself in the yellow beauty, the wheels hugging the road like a comfortable blanket wrapped around you. _Jasper might actually get jealous, _she smiled.

"Speaking of the devil," I said as Jasper opened the door to the garage.

"It's true," he grinned, "I am devilishly handsome."

Alice nodded in agreement. "Yup, I just can't seem to keep my fingers off of you," she giggled, tracing her fingers over his chest.

"Don't touch my car," Rosalie said from inside the house. "And you know I'll know if you do."

Jasper walked toward her car, the red paint sparkling beneath the fluorescent lights. He reached his fingers out, just baiting Rosalie.

"Don't even think about it, Jasper." Rosalie warned. Jasper stopped, his fingers only inches from the paint and grinned broadly.

Emmett came bouncing in, like a kitty on cat nip, and pounced on Jasper. His whole palm pressed against the BMW. "It was Emmett's fault," Jasper said, still laughing.

"We're going to go ahead, Edward," Alice said with a wink. _Give us a few minutes before you guys come hunting._

I groaned. "Go," I ordered. They both sprinted out the door, their eyes speaking millions of words between the two. I was slightly jealous that they were able to be so intimate.

"Hey, Edward." Emmett patted my shoulder and I might have sunk a little into the ground. "Surprised you aren't outside Bella's house being her vampire stalker. Is she not fulfilling your needs?"

"Ha-ha," I answered sarcastically. "No, I left because Charlie was going to talk to her about sex. I thought I should get the hell out of there before that conversation went down."

"Then maybe you should have stayed," he replied, his smile growing in width. "So tonight, after she knows how 'the sex' works, you'll finally get laid?" He burst into laughter.

"You know I can't."

"What are you so worried about?" he pressed, partially serious.

"Imagine having to restrain yourself while you're with Rosalie, because if you don't, you would kill her." I explained, absolutely serious.

His smile vanished. "Oh…well, how about a little hunting to help alleviate the rich goodness of Bella's blood?" he offered.

"We have to give Alice and Jasper a head start."

"Wrestling match, then?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but my phone rang, stopping me short of speaking. It was Alice. That was a surprise. She only left a minute ago.

"It's gone."She whispered, absolutely frantic. "Edward, I can't see her future_._"

"What?" I snapped. "Please, _try again_." I demanded.

It was silent on the other end, the seconds spreading out like years. How could her future just disappear? Her breathing hitched as anxiety crept up my spine. "Run," she ordered.

I was already opening the car door, an annoyance, really. The phone was shut, I didn't remember doing it, but I didn't have time to think about courtesies. As I started the engine and shifted the gears, I thought about just unhinging the door permanently. The car raced down the driveway, then I spun it around to hit the road toward Bella's as I almost tripled and quadrupled the speed limit in some areas. This was no time for prudence. What could have happened between when I dropped her off and now? Surely she didn't run out after talking with Charlie – maybe her hormones caused another fight.

Was it Victoria? It had been weeks since she had been around, her scent no longer lingering in the forest. Did Jacob come over? Were they sharing time together, alone, upstairs? I growled, deep and throaty. As I squealed tires onto her road, I was slowly becoming aware of my surroundings. Her heart beat in her chest, the speed quickened. I shoved my foot against the brake, coming to a complete stop and ran from the car. There was only one mind I could hear from their house. Charlie was relaxing on the sofa, content at watching his nightly baseball game. Bella was pacing in her room, her heart skipping around. Was something wrong? I could hear her hasty footsteps on the stairs as she barreled down them.

"You care if I go see Jake tonight?" Bella asked Charlie breathlessly. "I won't stay long."

_Not on my watch_, I thought angrily, but I was so relieved, so grateful that she was okay that this was not the worst alternative to her future disappearing completely. But that didn't matter, she was still not going to La Push. So quickly, not even someone driving by would see, I unhooked the alternator in her truck. Not even her stereo would work without this. It was like the electrical heart of the vehicle.

_I can't say no to that, not after my lecture, _Charlie thought happily. "Sure, kid. No problem. Stay as long as you like." His voice was smug with pride. Not for long…

I hopped into her truck, waiting. I was livid, and hurt. But so happy she was alive, it was hard to stay so angry.

"Thanks, Dad," Bella said, moving quickly toward the front door.

The door flung open and Bella looked to her left and right, as if she were about to cross traffic. Even after she assessed the area around her, she continued to look over her shoulder. She was expecting me, naturally. But she probably thought she would get away before I would get her. Looks like I'll be buying that car for Alice earlier than I wished. She deserved it after this revelation.

Anger boiled deep inside me, and betrayal was not far behind. Bella's hand ran along the door, trying to find the handle. Watching her do this, continually looking over her shoulder when I was right in front of her, actually helped alleviate some of my bitter disappointment. She jumped into the cab, a rush of her scent hit me. She still didn't notice I was sitting next to her. I was just waiting for her to try and start the truck. She did, and it failed to perform, just like I planned.

I played with the metal piece in my hand and she finally noticed me.

"Gah!" she exclaimed in shock.

Taking a deep breath, trying to bite back the bit anger I said very quietly, "Alice called." Bella's face fell, her look screaming, _Oh crap_, at her failing plan. "She got nervous when your future rather abruptly disappeared five minutes ago." _I got nervous_, I added mentally. More than that – I was frightened. Again, her face showed her shock. "Because she can't see the wolves, you know," I continued when she didn't speak. I continued to keep my voice low, velvet. "Had you forgotten that? When you decide to mingle your fate with theirs, you disappear, too. You couldn't know that part, I realize that. But can you understand why that might make me a little . . ." crazy, distressed, absolutely insane… "anxious? Alice saw you disappear, and she couldn't even tell if you'd come home or not. Your future got lost, just like theirs.

"We're not sure why this is. Some natural defense they're born with? That doesn't seem entirely likely, since I haven't had any trouble reading their thoughts. The Blacks' at least. Carlisle theorizes that it's because their lives are so ruled by their transformations. It's more an involuntary reaction than a decision. Utterly unpredictable, and it changes everything about them. In that instant when they shift from one form to the other, they don't really even exist. The future can't hold them. . . ."

She stayed silent, her eyes staring straight forward, her expression unreadable. For a moment, I thought that maybe I went too far. But then I decided that I'd rather know where she was at, knew what her future was, than her be in a situation where she was unsafe. "I'll put your car back together in time for school, in case you'd like to drive yourself," I added, reminding her that it was still her choice.

She shut her eyes for a moment, as if trying to make the image vanish from her eyes, and then opened them, her lips mashed together as if she were holding back a whole lot of nasty things she wanted to say. It was in that moment that I prodded her mind, hitting that same resistance, the same silence. She yanked her protruding key and opened the door without another word. "Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I'll understand," I whispered, trying to keep my voice calm, to not let her hear the hurt in my tone. The door slammed in my face. The last time I had a whole conversation without her saying a single word was when she was in the hospital unconscious.

I watched as she literally stomped up to her front door.

For a moment, I just sat there in the dark, in the now silent vehicle. I listened to Bella and Charlie.

"What's wrong?"

"Truck won't start," Bella hissed.

"Want me to look at it?" _Like that would do any good_, I thought.

"No. I'll try it in the morning."

"Want to use my car?"

"No. I'm tired," she mumbled. "'Night."

When I could hear her retreating toward her room I exited her truck, shutting the door quietly and began walking towards my car. It was then that I heard the window upstairs slam shut. My heart broke as I silently made my way across the lawn. I'd gone too far this time. As I reached for the door handle I could hear the window sliding open again. I sunk down into my car, leaning against the seat and breathing a sigh of relief.

_She still loves me, despite all the things I do to her, she still wants me, loves me, cares about me_.

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